Think You're Broke? Think Again

These days it seems only the top 1% have enough money for rent, food and hittin' the club all night while the rest of us are forced to do boring thigs like budgeting and watching netflix ad nauseum. Unless you're climbing the corporate ladder, or selling your soul for rock n'roll, everyone needs to pinch their pennies from time to time. Here are some tips on how to make $50 last a whole week.

Sunday
It's the Lord's day. Make sure you rest, go to church (don't steal from the collections bin, that's cheating) take a shower, and ponder life's meaning. It's also the first day of your budgeting excercise. The best way to do this is to be strict with yourself. Go to the ATM and withdraw $50. Burn your credit cards (or eat them) and stick to your guns. We'll get through this together.

Monday
The first thing you get to spend your hardly earned cash on is groceries. Boring, but hey, maybe you'll pick up a hot, single mom. But that's not why you're here. Focus! Don't buy anything your mom wouldn't. Moderate high priced items like meat and make them last all week. A package of bacon can really unwrap your creativity if you need it to last seven days. Stock up on durable items like pasta, canned beans or tomatoes and, rice. Having staples in your cupboards like a big kid means you only have to buy fresh butter, milk, eggs and bread occasionally. Never underestimate the power of shopping for bargains and freezing for long term storage.

Tuesday-Friday
Grocery shopping like a grandma will cost you between $15-25 a month. Now we have some room to play with. Search your local listings for free open mic nights, troll the happy hour like a boss or buy a cheap six pack from Walgreens for $5 and spend the night in. If you have a girlfriend keep her happy with cheap date options like free art galleries, museums and massages in the comfort of your own home.

Saturday
If you budgeted successfully, you should have at least $20 for a night on the town. Always pre-game before you hit the bars and avoid going to movie theaters that will suck your wallet faster than that fat kid in front of you and his Mountain Dew.